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Category Archives: humor

Looking for Litter Bugs

Where are they? I know I heard them talking. I even caught a glimpse of them, but now they’re not here.

Where did they go?

I saw them, I know I did. Those litter bugs that were here the other day. The ones whose trash I had to carry to the garbage can.

I’ve got to find them and give them what for. They even left some more trash behind.

They’ve got to be hiding around here somewhere. I bet they saw me coming and knew they were in for it. As soon as I find them I’m turning them in to the Litter Police – after I give them what for, that is.

***

I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find them anywhere. I guess they’re better at hiding themselves than they are at hiding their litter.

I’d better head home and look for them another day.

I know they’re out there somewhere.

35 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 17, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: litter, Litter Bugs, Pets

Loose Latch

16 Oct

My person doesn’t know it, but the screen door going out to the garage doesn’t latch tight. And I’m not going to tell her.

Usually this doesn’t do me any good because the regular door is closed. But this time she left that door open and she went outside.

Now’s my chance. My food is kept in the garage. I’m going for it!

I pushed the door open and started munching on the nuggets that had been spilled, when I heard voices. It was my person and my neighbor – right on the other side of the garage door.

I went over to check out what was going on. They were probably talking about me – thinking I couldn’t hear them.

What!? Not a single mention of me.

And then I realized I was stuck in here – in the dark. And if I said something my person would know and I would get in trouble. And I was getting really full of message juice.

I guess this door needs one of my messages anyway. It’s not like I’m inside the house – and besides, my person will never know. She can hardly smell anything.

I don’t have any idea how that water got there, person.

32 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 16, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: garage, Garage door, Pets

Shopping Without Me

15 Oct

She did it again. For the second day in a row my person left me – for a long time. Yesterday she hung out with her sister and didn’t take me along. Today she mumbled something about going shopping with my younger person.

I want to go. I like shopping. You are shopping for dog food, aren’t you? I haven’t seen my younger person in a long time.

I couldn’t convince my person to take me so there we were again. Just Scratchy and me. Scratchy’s no fun so I decided to take a nap.

I must have slept for a long time when all of a sudden I heard a key turning in the door lock. Funny, I hadn’t heard my person’s car pulling up. I always wake up for that.

Guess what!? It was my neighbor – and he took me for a walk on my trails. My neighbor is the coolest.

I was a little afraid my person would come home and wouldn’t know where I was – but when we got back – still no person.

Finally she showed up. It was late and dark. And then, you know what?

My younger person showed up in a different car. I hadn’t seen this car before. But I think it was really happy to have my younger person driving it.

This new car smiles.

Click here to find more mischievous pets.

42 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 15, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Automobile, Cat, Cats and Dogs, Mazda3, Pets, Scratchy, shopping

Replaced Commandments

14 Oct

Moses with Radiant Face (1638 painting by José de Ribera) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, Moses broke those tablets with the Ten Commandments on them when he got so mad about the golden calf and all the partying – so now what?

How are those people going to know what the rules are if they’re already broken before they get them?

They what? They broke one of the commandments before they even got it – and that’s why Moses was so mad?

Those people had better get their act together. But how are they going to do it?

He did? Moses went back up the mountain? I bet he was worn out. He must have been huffing and puffing the second time.

Oh. My person says God told Moses to chisel two stone tablets like the first ones so He could write on them again.

So Moses got some rest from climbing that mountain. I bet he chiseled those tablets really slow so he had time to catch his breath.

Moses stayed on that mountain with God for another forty days and forty nights without eating bread or drinking water.

That’s a long time. I bet he ran to the nearest stream when he came back down that mountain.

I am listening.

When Moses came down that mountain with the two tablets after speaking to the Lord his face was shining but he didn’t know it.

I bet he wondered what was going on. All the people must have been staring and pointing at him and whispering to each other.

I’m listening. But do you think Moses needs to powder his shiny face?

Okay, I’ll be serious.

He did? Moses put a veil on his face when he was with the people, but every time he went to speak with the Lord he took the veil off and when he came out his face would be radiant again.

Hey person, that would be cool to talk to God like Moses did. Do you think if I rubbed my face in glitter glue people would believe I did?

11 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 14, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Bible, faith, God, Lord, Moses, Pets, Tablets of Stone, Ten Commandments

Washington Weather

13 Oct

Bongo and Friends – No Sister in the Picture

My person’s sister and some friends from Washington State came here to visit me. It was really great except for two things. I thought they would want to have some Arizona weather while they were here – but they decided to bring their weather with them.

Washington weather visiting Sedona

It’s been sunny every day for about a month and it’s supposed to be sunny again tomorrow, but while they were here we had rain. And thunder. I don’t know where that thunder came from, but it kept up most of the night.

And the second thing was – they captured my person and took her with them, and they didn’t take me. They came all the way here to visit me and they left me at home.

They went to a place where there wasn’t any rain to see a castle that was owned by some dude named Montezuma. Nobody lives there anymore. I can see why. I think somebody stole the stairs.

I guess God finally decided that we’d had enough rain here and it was time to send it back to Washington, because when they headed back to Sedona they saw a rainbow holding up the rain so it couldn’t hit the ground.

Are you people done traveling around for awhile? My turn now.

43 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 13, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Arizona, Montezuma's Castle, Pets, Photography, Rain, rainbow, Sedona, Sedona Arizona, Washington

Trash Trooper

12 Oct

Today my person grabbed some plastic bags as we headed out to my trails. Not those skimpy little doggie bags. These were grocery bags.

I wasn’t sure what she was thinking, and since she had her hands full I made sure I got tangled in my leash a lot.

It wasn’t until we got nearly to the end of our walk that I realized what she was doing with those bags. And it was time for me to get to work. I hope she brought my Detective Dog hat along – because somebody has been hanging out in my wash and leaving their litter behind.

Time for me to start investigating.

I even found trash way in the bushes.

I bet this bush will talk.

While I was busy investigating my person picked the trash up. I was ready to head home to sort out the clues.

What do you mean, I’m supposed to carry this?

But I’m Detective Dog. I’ve got clues to sort out. There must be someone else.

45 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 12, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Detective Dog, litter, Pets, Plastic bag, Trail, trash

How Old is that Lizard?

10 Oct

I think it’s time to put on my Detective Dog hat because my person was cleaning up pine needles in my yard and look what she found. A lizard fossil.

This raises all kinds of questions. How did that lizard fossil get here? Where did it come from? How old is that lizard anyway?

I bet some paleontologist (did I say that word?) would be really excited to find this lizard. But he didn’t and I did – so I get to answer all these questions.

I bet this lizard lived thousands of years ago and this one got stuck in the mud way back when the rocks around here were white instead of red like they are now. Since I’ve never found any other kind of fossils, that proves that lizards are the oldest creatures around here – except for dogs, that is. Everyone knows that dogs have always been here – fossils or not.

When God created dogs He put them everywhere on earth because everyone needs to have a dog around. But lizards, they’re so scared they run away whenever they see somebody. They probably ran here because they were so busy running away from somebody somewhere else.

What, person? What do you mean? My younger person stuck that lizard in that rock when he was a little person? Well, that doesn’t make sense.

My younger person must be older than he looks to have stuck that lizard in that rock thousands of years ago. Maybe he’s into time travel. Oh boy, I think I’ve got another mystery on my hands.

35 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 10, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Fossil, Lizard, Pets

Nothing to Say

09 Oct

It sure feels good to be home again. I mean, don’t get me wrong – I had fun playing with all those other dogs – but there’s no place like home. They don’t give you antlers to chew on at the dog hotel.

I went for a quick check of my trails to make sure they’re still there.

Okay, that’s enough.

I think I could sleep for days.

Bongo, wake up! Wake up Bongo!

I can’t believe this. This is Scratchy here. Bongo took a nap right in the middle of writing his blog post. What a perfect chance. I can write anything I want and Bongo will never know.

It was kind of good to see Bongo walk in the door after being gone for so long. I guess I kind of missed him.

What am I doing? I can say anything I want and I’m telling the whole world that I missed Bongo. This is nuts!

Bongo, wake up! You’ve got to finish your blog post. I have nothing to say.

38 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 9, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: antler, Cat, Cats and Dogs, Pets, Scratchy, sleeping, Trail

Back Home Again

08 Oct

At last! I can take that picture of me behind bars off my blog and get back to my adventures. My person finally sprung me from the dog jail hotel. I don’t know what she was doing, but it sure seemed like she was gone a long time.

Wait! You were doing what, person? What’s that picture on my blog? You left me in the dog hotel and went to hang out with other animals, didn’t you? And of all the animals you could think of, it had to be a pesky squirrel.

Wait a minute. Who else were you hanging out with? I’m gonna check through your pictures. You’d better not hold anything back on me.

What’s this? You were hanging out with —–cats!???

Scratchy, check this out. You were left behind and our person went to hang out with other cats.

Scratchy, look at this cat. Our person left you for a cat that doesn’t even have any hair.

Now, I get it. That’s why I found so many clumps of your hair around the house when I came home. You were trying to look like this cat so our person would come back home. Scratchy, you may be a little silly – but sometimes you’re alright.

I think we need to get together though and have a talk with our person about hanging out with other animals. Or maybe we should ignore her for awhile.

Hey, wait a minute. What do I smell? Don’t tell me our person was hanging out with even more animals?

A what? You got me a what?

You got me an antler! Hey person, you can go back to Colorado any time you want. Just make sure to bring me more antlers.

Click here to find more mischievous pets.

46 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 8, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: antler, Cat, Cats and Dogs, Pets, Photography, Scratchy, Squirrel

The Golden Calf

07 Oct

The Adoration of the Golden Calf’ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Moses was hanging out on Mt. Sinai talking to God for a very long time and the Israelites got tired of waiting for him to come down.

I think I’d get tired too, person. Patience is not my middle name.

Okay, I’m listening.

So the Israelites went to Moses’ brother Aaron and told him to make gods that would go before them.

Can Aaron do that?

Okay, I’ll listen.

Aaron told the people to give him all their gold earrings and he took the gold and made it into an idol in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool.

You’d think he’d at least make it look like a dog.

Of course I’m listening. I just think they need a few more dogs in this story.

The next day the people sacrificed burnt offerings to that golden calf – it really needs to be a dog – and then they had a big party.

I hope the dogs got the leftovers from the party at least.

I’m listening.

God knew what the people were doing and He told Moses to leave Him alone so He could destroy them. But Moses talked God out of it saying that the Egyptians would say that God just brought the people out of Egypt so He could kill them.

So Moses went down the mountain with the two tablets that had the Ten Commandments on them. But when he saw the calf and the people dancing he threw the tablets down and they broke into pieces at the foot of the mountain.

Then he burned the calf, ground it into powder, scattered it on the water, and made the Israelites drink it.

That must have been some odd tasting steak.

When Moses asked Aaron what the people did to him that caused him to lead them to do something so bad, Aaron said the people didn’t know what happened to Moses and told him to make gods to go before them. So he asked for their gold and threw it into the fire and the calf came out.

See, I told you Aaron should have made a dog. If he didn’t have that calf Aaron and the Israelites wouldn’t have gotten into trouble.

24 Comments

Posted by Bongo on October 7, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Aaron, Bible, dogs, faith, God, Israelite, Moses, Patience, Pets, Ten Commandments