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Category Archives: humor

Mistletoe

Christmas is less than a month away and I’ve got to make some plans. And I’ve noticed now that some of the leaves are falling off the bushes there’s something showing up. Something that goes really well at Christmas time, and I’m going to take advantage of it.

Mistletoe!

I think it’s been here for awhile, but that was nice of those bushes to stop covering it up so I’d notice it.

Okay person, what is it you do with mistletoe at Christmas?

Kiss the girls? They have to kiss you if you catch them under the mistletoe?

Woo woo! Check this out.

Come on girls. Over to the mistletoe. I’m waiting for my kisses.

What, person? I have to catch them under the mistletoe?

How am I going to get under this mistletoe? I mean, look at it. It’s practically on the ground.

And I for sure wouldn’t be able to get a girl under it.

What to do? What to do?

Do you think the girls will notice that mistletoe up in the tree?

Click here to find more mischievous pets.

23 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 26, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Christmas, Kiss, Mistletoe, Pets

Speak or Strike

25 Nov

English: Moses striking the rock (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, after those Israelites realized they were stuck in the desert for forty years did they finally settle down and do what God said? Maybe they could find a nice oasis and settle down there for awhile.

They complained some more? I guess all that manna was getting to them.

So they complained that there was no grain or figs, grapevines or pomegranates in the terrible place they were in.

What are they complaining about? I’ve never had a pomegranate.

Yes, I’m listening person.

And then they complained that there was no water to drink.

Hey person, I’m running out of water here. I need my water dish filled up.

No I’m not complaining. And I’m really listening.

Moses and Aaron were getting pretty frustrated with the people but the glory of the Lord appeared to them and He told Moses to take the staff and gather the people together. Then He said to speak to the rock and it will pour out water.

Maybe I can speak to my water dish.

I am listening.

Moses and Aaron gathered the people and Moses was so upset with them that he said, “Listen you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” Then he struck the rock with his staff and water came pouring out.

Maybe I can push my water dish under that rock.

God was mad at Moses and Aaron? Why? He gave them water didn’t he?

Oh. They didn’t do what He said?

God told Moses to speak to the rock and he struck the rock instead. God told Moses and Aaron that they didn’t trust Him enough to honor Him as holy. And because of it they weren’t going to get to bring Israel into the Promised Land.

Hey person, if I trust God will you fill up my water dish? This story has really made me thirsty.

And then maybe I can lead those Israelites into the Promised Land, since it looks like Moses and Aaron aren’t going to finish the job.

18 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 25, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Aaron, Bible, faith, God, Israelite, Lord, Moses, Pets, Pomegranate, Water

Around the Block

24 Nov

Today was such a beautiful day and it felt really good to be outside. I took my person on our usual walk on my trails and then we headed back home.

But when we got back home I wasn’t ready to go in. I hadn’t seen any dogs on my trails, and only a few people. And two of the people were on mountain bikes. It’s kind of hard to get loves from a person on a bike.

So when it came time to turn back into our driveway I balked. I wanted more walk. And actually, I was kind of hoping to find Toby outside. Toby is my new dog neighbor and I haven’t even got to meet him yet. My person got to meet him, but noooo – she couldn’t let me out to meet him.

So I took my person around the block. We don’t usually walk around the block. My trails are nicer, but it’s kind of nice to do something different for a change. And I was hoping to meet some of my dog neighbors that don’t go on my trails.

There was nobody on the street at all. No people. No dogs. Not even a cat.

So when we got back to our driveway I balked again.

But my person wouldn’t go for it.

And she’s bigger than me.

Come on person, Toby’s going to be out here any minute now.

***

Sorry Toby. As soon as someone leaves the door open I’ll come by.

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33 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 24, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Mountain bike, Pets, Trail

Where’s My Turkey?

23 Nov

Yesterday was Thanksgiving and I was left home alone. Well, Scratchy and I were left home alone together.

It seemed like we were alone for a very long time, so after I messed up my person’s bed and tried to get into the garbage – that little wrapper fell out on its own – I swear – I decided to pass the time by taking a nap.

And I had lots of dreams. All about turkeys. Turkeys were running through my house gobbling away. I tried to catch them, but they ran away. You’d think Scratchy would help me – aren’t cats supposed to be good at catching birds? But Scratchy was taking his own nap. He must have had his own turkeys running through the house.

But then my dreams got even better. The smell of cooked turkey wafting (did I use that word?) through the house. And turkey meat filling up my dish so I could eat to my heart’s delight.

Finally, I heard my person’s car drive up and my dreams went poof. Maybe they were prophetic (another big word?) and the turkey would be coming through the door.

In came my person, and she was carrying a big plate of food – turkey and other things – and did it smell good!

So where’s mine? I was ready to gobble that plate of food up and my person wasn’t giving it to me.

What!? No turkey? This is Thanksgiving! Dogs should get turkey too.

Sorry person. I never should have doubted you.

Thanksgiving Turkey Day is the best!

33 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 23, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Pets, Thanksgiving, Turkey

Thankful for Turkey Treats

22 Nov

Today is Thanksgiving here in the United States. It’s a pretty cool day because everybody eats turkey and I like turkey.

But what I want to know is what everybody is thankful for?

What, person?

Oh. My person says there is a lot to be thankful for, but my person says the first Thanksgiving was celebrated because the pilgrims who came to Plymouth, Massachusetts were thankful that they had survived their first winter. And they were thankful to the Native Americans who had helped them survive. That was in 1621.

I think that was a long time ago. Was I around then?

I wasn’t? I bet my person was around then though.

Oh. You were born a little bit later than that? How much later?

I am listening to the story.

A Native American named Squanto was especially helpful to the pilgrims. He was from the Patuxet tribe and had been captured by a ship that had come near his village. He lived for awhile in England and learned English and was eventually allowed to come back home.

Squanto came back home to find his entire village had been wiped out by a plague. A short time later pilgrims came and settled in Plymouth, which had been the location of Squanto’s village.

Squanto taught the pilgrims how to farm and how to find food.

Did he teach them how to make treats for their dogs?

I’m listening. Oh yeah, I guess they didn’t need special dog treats. They had turkey treats.

The pilgrims were so thankful to Squanto and the other Native Americans that had helped them survive that they held a big feast in the fall and invited many of the Native Americans to join them. The feast lasted for three days and even if the dogs just got the scraps they were doing good. There was a lot of good food there.

The First Thanksgiving, painted by Jean Leon Gerome Ferris (1863–1930). The First Thanksgiving took place in Plymouth in 1621. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) See, I told you there were dogs needing treats.

What do you mean this is supposed to be the history of Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving is all about food, isn’t it?

Okay, one more tidbit – of turkey, that is.

Thanksgiving wasn’t celebrated every year at first, but in 1863 President Lincoln proclaimed the last Thursday in November to be a national day of Thanksgiving.

Hooray for President Lincoln! I’m for sure voting for him next election.

38 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 22, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Massachusetts, Native American, Patuxet tribe, Pets, Pilgrim, Plymouth, Squanto, Thanksgiving, United States

The Sunny Spot

21 Nov

There’s only one room in our house that gets a good sunny spot. And it’s the room that my people haven’t been spending much time in.

So for a long time I didn’t even notice that sunny spot. I was busy doing my dog duty and hanging around where my people are.

After all, they might need me to protect them from something.

But Scratchy isn’t such a dutiful cat.

He hangs out in that sunny spot even when nobody else is in the room. And to make it worse, he leaves clumps of his fur there. I guess he’s trying to claim that spot as his territory.

Well, my person went into that sunny spot room to pick up all Scratchy’s territory claiming furballs, and I followed her.

And I discovered something. I discovered the sunny spot and now it’s mine.

Scratchy, I’ll let you have a little corner of my new sunny spot. But only when the spot’s big.

And don’t you go leaving any of your furballs anywhere near here.

37 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 21, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Cat, Cats and Dogs, Pets, Scratchy, Sunny Spot

The Can

20 Nov

I don’t know what you’re talking about person. What can? Where?

Oh, that one. My younger person’s been home this weekend. He’s the one who eats the stuff in those cans. He never saves any for me. He probably left that can there.

I don’t know why he’d squash that can. Maybe he was bored. Or maybe he was angry and he took it out on that can.

What tooth marks? Where?

On the other side of the can? Then it couldn’t have been me. I can’t even see the other side of the can. Maybe my younger person poked the can with a nail or something.

Besides, how come you’re always asking me? Did you ask Scratchy? He’s got sharp teeth. And claws too. Have you ever met up with those claws?

I bet Scratchy could too have squished that can. Have you ever seen him when he’s mad?

Person, I don’t know how you could possibly think I did it. See, I’ve just been sitting here innocently chewing on my snake the whole time.

Besides, there was hardly anything left to lick in that can.

39 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 20, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: can, Cat, Cats and Dogs, Pets, Scratchy, soup can

Real Men Rescue Cats

19 Nov

I was taking my person to my trails and had just about gotten there when I saw something on the back of a car in the parking lot – and I stopped in my tracks.

“Real Men Rescue Cats” Now what kind of a sign is that? And what would that sign be doing here – by my trails. This is a dog and people trail. I don’t see cats on these trails. And if a cat ever tries to sneak over here from one of those houses across the street I chase that cat back to its house.

Sometimes I see real men on my trails. I even get loves from some of them. But I never see them rescuing any cats.

So what’s a real dog to do? At least I don’t have to rescue any cats.

Should I tell those real men on my trails that there aren’t any cats here and they need to go somewhere else to find them?

But then those real men wouldn’t be on my trails to give me loves.

I could still get loves from the real women because they wouldn’t need to go rescue cats.

Wait a minute! What am I thinking? Rescuing cats? Was I almost getting a soft spot for those cats that need rescuing?

Oops. Please nobody tell Scratchy about that. I’m sure glad he doesn’t read my blog.

Click here to find more mischievous pets.

35 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 19, 2012 in Bongo, dogs, humor

Tags: Cat, Pets, Real Men, TheAnimalRescueSite, Trail

Swallowed Up

18 Nov

English: The Death of Korah, Dathan and Abiram, by Gustave Doré (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey person, after those Israelites were chased down the hill by the Amalekites what happened?

They didn’t? No way. Isn’t that kind of like a bully who gets beat on so he turns around to pick on somebody else?

I’m listening.

After the Amalekites chased the Israelites down the hill and the Israelites realized they were stuck in the wilderness for forty years for not trusting God, they decided to turn on Moses and his brother Aaron.

Well, three of them Korah, Dathan, and Abiram turned on Moses and Aaron, and they had 250 other guys with them. They didn’t like that God spoke to Moses and that Aaron was the high priest. They figured they should all have equal access to God and be equal with Moses and Aaron.

Moses told these guys who had turned on him that it was against the Lord they had turned. He summoned Dathan and Abiram but they refused to come and just grumbled that Moses hadn’t brought them into a land flowing with milk and honey.

I’d be complaining if I was left in the desert too. Sand doesn’t taste anything like dog treats.

Yes, I’m listening.

The Lord knew that Korah, Dathan, and Abiram had gone too far and He told Moses to tell everyone to move away from their tents. When the people had moved, the ground opened up and swallowed the three rebels along with their tents and all their stuff.

I was looking for a tent for my miracle healings the other day. Maybe I’d better stay away from tents.

I am listening person. You can go on with the story. I’m waiting.

The Lord decided to get rid of the grumbling so He told Moses to collect the staff of a leader from each of the tribes of Israel and write the owner’s name on it. The Lord said that the staff belonging to the man He chose would sprout.

The next day Aaron’s staff had not only sprouted, but had budded, blossomed, and produced almonds too. The Lord told Moses to put Aaron’s staff in front of the tablets with the Ten Commandments on them as a reminder to the rebellious.

Do you think I could get a staff like that? But I don’t think I want mine to come from an almond tree. Do you think I could get one from that bone tree I found?

11 Comments

Posted by Bongo on November 18, 2012 in Bongo, Dogology, humor

Tags: Aaron, Bible, dogs, faith, God, Israelite, Lord, Moses, Pets

The Bone Tree

17 Nov

There’s a special tree near the beginning of my trails. Well, actually there are two special trees.

One is the peanut tree.

That’s where those pesky squirrels keep all their peanuts until they get hungry for them. I’m just waiting to catch one of those pesky squirrels under there.

But that’s not the tree I’m talking about. The other special tree is the bone tree. I found it when my person wanted to go back by it to take pictures of some flowers. What a treat! There are bones everywhere under there.

But my person wouldn’t let me take any of them home with me.

And now she won’t even let me go back near that tree.

But something’s been happening lately. Some of those bones have been finding their way out near my trail.

I don’t know what dog in his right mind would put a bone there and just leave it. But that’s what happened.

But now I have a real dilemma.

My person won’t let me take the bones I find.

Maybe I can nonchalantly (did I say that word?) walk by that bone and quietly snatch it up as I keep walking along.

That didn’t work either. She made me drop it.

Come on, person. Let me have that bone!