Category Archives: humor
Ant Hole Competition
Normally the ants around here aren’t much to look at. They crawl out of holes in the ground, go get stuff to eat, and then crawl back in.
There are different colors and sizes of ants, but usually the most important thing to know about ants is that some of them bite.
Don’t get close enough to tempt the ants to crawl on you.
But something changes when it rains around here. The ants get really creative.
They seem to be in competition to see which group of ants can build the best entrance to their house.
I thought I’d post some of the entries so you can decide which one is your favorite.
I think these ants were trying to see how tall they could get their entrance.
But for those ants who might not be able to climb quite so high to get in, these ants created a side door.
Here we have a moat around the entrance. All ready to fill with water. These ants might have cheated though. I’m not sure they created that moat all by themselves.
Now this is getting creative. A funnel entrance. The ants must have to walk in ever descending circles to enter this house.
If the ants ever drag home a giant key they’ll be able to get in here.
And if you want to be a little different you can change up the color and rest your entrance against a rock.
Maybe I ought to taste this one. It looks like they mixed sugar into the dirt.
These ants weren’t taking any chances. If they miss the first entrance, the second one will work for sure.
But this one has got to be my all time favorite.
The pig snout entrance.
I wonder if this little guy gets extra points if he can drop this juniper berry down the most difficult hole.
New Expedition
Today I got to go on a new adventure. I got to go exploring.
I can’t believe we’ve never been here before. It’s my wash, after all.
But it’s the other part of my wash.
When we get to this place in my trails we usually go left and head back home. To explore this part we have to go right.
Finally I talked my person into going right for a change.
And we were off – on a new expedition.
At first I had a good time checking out all the new smells in this wash.
But then I saw something really strange.
A barkless tree.
It’s a good thing this tree is not a dog. It would have a terrible time giving warnings in dog talk.
We headed up past that tree and kept on going.
And then I saw it.
Something I’ve never seen on my trails before.
I think somebody has been expecting me because…
they started building me a house.
Whoever is building it must be coming back because they haven’t finished with it.
The walls are almost high enough for me, but the house still needs a roof.
I looked to see if I could see anyone around.
I don’t see anybody this way.
Nobody over this direction either.
The house builder doesn’t seem to be around anywhere.
Guess I’ll go inspect the place.
As long as there’s no rain I can wait for the roof.
Toad Migration
If you’ve been following along on my blog the last few weeks you know that I found tadpoles in my puddle and then those tadpoles turned into little toadies.
And then somebody took my puddle.
But those toadies still hung around where my puddle used to be.
Every day when I’d go by there I’d see lots of little toadies hopping around where my puddle had been, but I never saw any toadies anywhere else on my trails.
Today, all that changed.
You see that area behind me?
Oops, I guess I’m blocking it.
Is that better?
My person is standing near my puddle taking the picture
Today I found toadies almost to the end of that red rock clearing.
But then those toadies got stuck. They came across a humongous cliff.
No, not that thing way in the back of the picture. What the toadies found doesn’t look like much, but to them it’s enormous.
Check out these guys – if you can find them. They kind of blend in.
One of these toadies is bravely making the ascent, but the other one looks stuck.
This one looks stuck too.
Right at the bottom of the cliff.
This toadie might be a little smarter than the rest. It found stepping stones.
But check these next toadies out.
Only one toadie really shows up in the picture, but believe me there are more toadies behind that one.
These toadies came to the cliff, decided it wasn’t worth climbing, and found a hideaway instead – right at the bottom of the cliff.
I tried to decide which was better – climbing the cliff to places unknown or hiding out at home with a bunch of buddies.
I guess some dogs will choose the cliff and some the hideout. We’re all different, just like those toadies.
But for me it didn’t take long to decide.
I started thinking what my blog would be like if I stayed in my hideout all the time.
It would be pretty boring.
So for me, it’s up that cliff – and off to adventure.
Here, I come!
Bongo, the Adventure Dog!
Do I need to get a new hat?
Seventy Times Seven
I hope this week’s Bible story isn’t as confusing as the last one. I wasn’t sure if you were talking about sheep or puppies.
I’m listening. But please don’t make it confusing.
***
Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times.”
***
Are you serious? Does that mean I have to forgive you person, for all the times you pull mischief on me?
Of course I’m listening. I’m just trying to multiply that number. You never taught me how to do that. More mischief.
***
Then Jesus told a story. He said, “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
***
That man must have been really talented.
How much is ten thousand talents?
Millions of dollars? No way! I think that king should have cut him off a long time ago.
Yes, I’m listening.
***
Since the man was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
The servant fell on his knees before him. “Be patient with me,” he begged, “and I will pay back everything.” The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go..
***
Whew! He was lucky.
***
But when the servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. “Pay back what you owe me!” he demanded.
***
I guess a hundred denarii must be way more than ten thousand talents.
What!? It’s only worth about a day’s wages? I guess that guy was pretty demanding.
***
The fellow servant, the one being choked, fell to his knees and begged him, “Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.”
But the first servant refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
***
Well, that doesn’t make any sense. How can you pay a debt when you’re in prison?
I am listening.
***
When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
Then the master called the servant in. “You wicked servant,” he said. “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” In anger his master turned him over to the jailors to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
***
Serves that guy right.
***
Then Jesus said, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”
***
Oops!
Person, I forgive you seventy times seven times for all the mischief you ever did to me.
But if you pull mischief on me again, you’d better watch out.
Not Time for Flowers
I just can’t win sometimes.
In the spring we get lots of flowers here and I’m constantly having to hang around while my person gets her camera out and takes pictures of them. And it seems like she takes forever.
Then in the fall when the weather cools down we get a few more flowers.
But in the middle of the summer I’m usually pretty safe. Not many flowers grow when it’s so hot.
But I just found flowers on this little bush here.
Maybe if I water it or something my person will want to leave.
Oops. Too late.
I’ve got to move faster next time.
Oh no!
There were a bunch of these white things in this spot a couple years ago, but I thought I’d gotten rid of them because I didn’t see any last year.
Come on, person. Move along! There’s nothing of interest here.
***
Whew! She went for it.
Hey! What are these doing here? I thought the catclaw were done blooming. What is it with this late bloomer?
***
Finally, we made it back home. I don’t have to wait any longer while my person takes pictures.
What!? Wait a minute! What are you doing, person?
You don’t need to do that.
I’m not even safe in my own backyard.
Popular Puddle
There’s really been a flurry of activity around my puddle lately.
First the tadpoles, then the toadies, then those mysterious tracks that I told you about yesterday. You know, the evidence of those strange creatures that took off with my puddle.
So today when we got to my puddle it had come back. Well, at least part of it was back.
I was so excited!
And you know what my person did? She tied me up again.
What now? The tadpoles are gone, and most of the toadies have hopped away.
Yeah, I know there’s still a few toadies around. I won’t step on them. I promise.
But today there was someone else near my puddle.
Butterflies!
And not just any butterflies. We had come across the Arizona state butterfly – the Two-tailed Swallowtail.
And those butterflies seemed to be getting pretty cozy.
Something strange was happening.
I wanted to go home and get my Nature Dog hat so I could investigate – but being tied up put a cramp in my style.
My person says these butterflies are supposed to lay single eggs on plants, but one of these butterflies seemed to be laying bunches of eggs in a mud hole.
I guess the other butterfly thought it strange too.
He started dancing around. Maybe he was nervous.
But I think that butterfly beat around the bush – I mean around my puddle – a little too long.
Because the competition showed up.
And now that my puddle has a butterfly party going on in it, I’m just wondering one thing.
Am I ever going to get to play in my puddle again?
Not the Toadies
A couple days ago I posted about all the mischief that was done to me.
Well, I think I have to make an apology.
It’s really hard for me to apologize. I’m usually such a perfect dog that I rarely have anything to apologize for.
But I think I might have made one little mistake.
You see, I blamed the toadies for taking off with my puddle.
But upon further investigation I discovered that it might not have been those toadies at all.
And now I have a real mystery on my hands paws.
I’m going to need to wear two hats to solve this one.
My Detective Dog hat.
And my Nature Dog hat.
Somebody left behind some evidence. And it doesn’t look like those toadies took my puddle at all.
I even found that the toadies were getting into the evidence to help me investigate.
But if I’m reading the clues right, this has got to be the strangest creature I’ve ever seen.
It’s got two different kinds of feet – one foot is a paw, kind of like mine. The other is a hoof.
And to make matters more confusing, there was a smaller guy hanging around with this creature. Maybe if I find the little guy it will give me a clue about that strange creature.
The only animal around here that I know of with a hoof is a javelina.
Javelinas are strange enough on their own, but half a javelina? Now that’s really strange.
And what’s the other half? Maybe a coyote? So what is that?
A javeyote? Or maybe a coylina?
That settles it then. That little guy I’m looking for must be a jackelope.
Food on the Table
I’ve got it all figured out now. All I have to do is convince my person there’s thunder outside and I’m scared to leave the house.
Sometimes I have to get Scratchy to growl – you know that low quiet kind of growl that cats do. And my person will think she’s heard thunder.
Then I get to go.
As soon as I hear the word car I’m out of here and headed for the car door.
I don’t care where we’re going as long as I get to go in the car – well, as long as it doesn’t end up at the dog hotel.
Today I really lucked out. I got to go to lunch.
I really got excited when they brought the food to the table.
I couldn’t wait to see which plate was mine.
I waited patiently. It seemed like it was taking a long time for someone to hand me my plate.
My person got busy talking to our friends who were at the table with us.
I think she forgot all about me. They all started eating and talking.
Hey! Where’s mine?
I finally had to take things into my own hands paws.
This one smells the best. It must be mine.
Do you believe it? They pushed me away and nobody shared even one little bite with me.
They ate all their food, and mine too.
Next time I come here, I’m having my plate served on the ground.
Mischief!
I’ve got a complaint, and I should have posted this for Monday Mischief, but when someone pulls mischief on me, I’ve got to post it when it happens.
You see, my person tried to tell me everything was fine outside. I knew it wasn’t but she made me go.
My neighbor across the street was in on it too. He said there wasn’t any thunder.
But I knew it was coming. The wind was blowing, the clouds were dark, and I knew I would hear that awful noise any minute.
It even started raining. I swear I felt a drop or two.
I took my person into my wash because it seemed like the safest place.
But then it happened. The wind picked up and I heard a rumbly in the sky. Not loud, but it still meant business in my book.
I tried to get my person to head the safest direction, but for some reason she wouldn’t go for it.
More mischief on her part, I’m sure.
Since my person wouldn’t go up that hill there was only one direction to head – and it led straight to my toadies.
And you know what my person did?
She pulled more mischief on me!
She tied me to a tree.
She tried to tell me it was so I wouldn’t trample the toadies.
I’ll trample those toadies alright.
They’re pulling mischief on me too.
They took my puddle.
There were little toadies hopping around everywhere that my puddle used to be.
They seemed to be settling in.
They even had little toad houses.
This mischief has gone far enough.
I’m having it out with those toadies right now.
Those toadies are going to have to move and give me back my puddle.
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